"I'll make a Heaven of Hell
To die upon the hand I love so well"
~Helena
William Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream"

Did you ever get the feeling that you were being taken for granted?
By friends, family, a significant other?
I'm not stupid, I see the things that go on, I hear what people say, and I feel the reprocussions of the actions that no one ever thought would hurt me. I'm no fool. Not in the least to say that, I am NO man's fool.
There are human rules, by which we all must abide by.
Neglecting them may do much damage that such an offender cannot attempt to be expectedly apologetic for, because, at that point, apologies mean nothing. We cannot pick an choose which degrees of human decency to follow, and people that do such things only re-affirm my attitude that plunges me deeper into the worlds of hypocrisy and humility.
I am finished with the first.
I love my friends, my family and the most amazing man I could ever ask to spend my days with right now. Any fool that I would have been, if I was at any point, I was all your's.
and I thank God for opening my eyes to them all.
I thank the good Lord, for teaching me humility, to take my friends with a grain of salt as they are the Salt of the Earth, and the flavour of my life.
I thank the good Lord, for teaching me unconditional Love, for there is no stronger bond that one human could wish to share with another, than a bond of emotion, love, affection, caring and devotion being the strongest of all those in turn. A lesson that I have learned in loving Ryan, who is such a beautiful soul that I couldn't wish for a better person to share my spare time and days with.
I thank the good Lord, for teachiung me independance, as my family may love me and want nothing short of what's best for me, the life of a decadent, tip-toed conversationalist is not cut out for a wildly passionate personality such as my own. I would rather my days be filled with wonderment, joy, warm hugs and kisses, from those I love, than the paper monies and merchant golds of this world. I do not want my success to be measured by how frugle I was with my purse, but by how many lives I have touched and how much joy, and how many smiles I can bring to those I care about.
...
these, are hard lessons to learn, of that I can assure you all.
But, my regrets of learning such? There are none.
If that is a dissapointment, then I am happy and very much obliged to dissapoint.
I'm tired and weary of games you see...
I'm tired of playing, and I'm tired of being played.
I'm tired of burning, and I'm tired of being burned.
I go through such experiences, sometimes for joy, sometimes for a desperate need to feel sorrow and pain. A conceptual "Yin and Yang" of emotions.
To learn my own lessons, not for the ignorance, nor entertainment of yours.
I am not a blessing to the human race, but, I'm not so low as to be expected to always fall back on.
There may come a day, when I'm not around anymore, and you have no one left...
...to be the butt of your jokes.
...to hold in the middle of the night.
...to call in case of an emergency.
my friends,
my love.
my family.
Do me just one favor if you have it left in your heart. Tell me, how much I mean to you...because even if you only say it once.

It means the world to me.

~Rikonayh